living on one income

For the past 10 years I have stayed at home while Tim has brought in the $$. A single military paycheck is pretty paltry, especially since these days it is common for lawyers to marry lawyers and doctors to marry doctors, bringing in combined incomes of $300,000 and up. Instead of joining the competitive and exhausting world of dual income professionals we have lived frugally so we can be comfortable on one income. Tim sent me this article to tell me what a "trendsetter" I am.

Thanks sweetie, but I just try to follow the path laid out by generations of mothers and wives for financial peace: live within your means (don't go into debt), focus on God and not stuff (happiness is living in a state of grace, not living in a replica of Graceland), and pick a good husband (one who kisses his children each night, not just pays child support from another state).

You see lots of articles discussing ways to eliminate the second income -- things like clipping coupons, buying second-hand clothes, and cutting out vacations and cable television.
But ultimately, paring those expenses isn't going to cover the gap for most middle-class families, because those aren't the costs that drive them to the economic edge. The real problems are what Harvard Law professor Elizabeth Warren calls "the big five" -- housing, health insurance, child care, a second automobile, and taxes.

...today's families save less and carry more debt: In 1970, the one-income family saved 11 percent of its take-home pay and allocated 1.4 percent of its annual income to pay revolving debt, such as credit cards. In 2005, the two-income family saved nothing, and allocated 15 percent of its annual income to revolving debt.... In other words, the two-income family spends everything -- the second income, all of its annual savings -- and has piled on debt.

Lawrence, whose budgeting guide was first published in the 1980s, says it's harder to live on one income today because a number of innovations -- such as Internet access -- have become necessities. But just as important, there's so much more choice in luxuries than there used to be -- that is, so much more stuff to say "no" to.

This last part was brought home to me after reading Parenting, Inc. by Pamela Paul. It describes the excesses of new Mommy mania such as the $800 Bugaboo strollers that make up part of the $1.7 trillion American market for toys and baby gear. With all the new necessities of parenting even the Wall Street Journal figured a cost of raising one child to age 17 as costing a cool million dollars. I was amazed how much stuff new parents buy: boutique clothing and fanciful nurseries, baby classes in sign language and music, parenting coaches and exclusive mommy clubs, child tracking systems and car seats for stuffed animals.

As I was reading the thought that while these companies help our national economy, if people didn't buy all this junk they could afford to quit work, save for college, or have another child. As I am well aware, there are many families that really need mom to work, or mom needs to work a bit to stay current in her field or to feel productive. I too, have plans for working part-time or going into business for myself in a few years. I know many professional women who work to support an extravagant lifestyle and then claim they can't afford to stay home or have another child. However, there are many other women who would love to stay home and just need encouragement and financial advice.

My only suggestion is to research the options, live on one income for 6 months while saving the second paycheck, and have the confidence to live a pared-down lifestyle. While some days I wish I could walk out the door and not come home for 8 hours, I know that some of my kids wouldn't exist if I had a full time job and that would be unbearable.